being mommy

sammy
Acrylic on Paper, July 2010 (That’s a painting of Sammy, my godchild.)

Tonight over dinner, I asked my brother if he wanted to have kids already.

It was also something I’ve been asking myself recently.

Our 6-year-old niece Patrice has been living with our family for three years now, and my parents, brothers and I have all had our fair share of parenting joys and frustrations. Today was soccer day, for example, and for the whole 10 minutes of scrimmage or game time, I was standing by the sidelines, playing the ever-so-vocal stage tita.  Can’t imagine how much more of a cheerleader I’d be with my own kid!

Mom and dad have been toasting to their (future) grandchildren every chance they get for quite some time now, especially since their peers all seem to be falling in love with their apos, but any chance of that happening soon is unlikely.   My brothers and I grew up with no grandparents (they died young), so we always felt endeared to other people’s lolos and lolas, and if there’s anything pressuring us to pursue the family life, it’s wanting our children to get to know and enjoy our own parents…

Why do people want kids?   What brings a woman, for example, to willingly surrender her love, time, effort, money and body to a young person who will “own” her for the rest of her life?

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I’ve scoured shelves for books on meaningful parenting, mostly to learn how to be a good tita to my niece, and the best I’ve found so far is Rahima Baldwin Dancy’s You are Your Child’s First Teacher.  It says that it’s more important to raise a well-balanced, happy child that’s a pleasure to be with than a smart one.   Highly recommended book.  🙂

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