***Warning : long and self-indulgent post. Sharing for you, friends, to bear witness. To those that do, thank you.***
The new year always starts early for me. I mark it on my birthday, the 15th of December.
Yolanda has made it a struggle to welcome the coming year with joy, and on top of that, am so feeling the birthday blues.
Today, twenty days before the next turn, I followed an inner prodding to re-collect the past year.
Here’s to closing 2013 in understanding and healing:
Backtrack for context: September 2012 I moved into a new home that took me two years to build. Much, much love went into that house and it was my intent to start planting seeds of all kinds there.
February 2013 I started to bike and I also joined a painting group. Learned that serious and play do mix — I had so much fun! Parang laro lang. Araw-araw, laro lang.
The next few months were also open-ended: I had a moment of clarity in January to dedicate my life to painting — that yes, this is it for me.
…but the how of it was still not known to me:
I gave my application to the state university’s painting program in February and didn’t hear from them for two months. I had no idea what it meant when I got a text to come in for a portfolio review and talent test.
It was a case of jumping right in. Lundag lang. All I had were the heart and dedication of a person with nothing to lose. And I needed to put myself out there. It was time.
Sigurado ba ako dyan?
It was a time to listen.
The first semester came and went, away from my new home, with no time for doodling, and no time for the art house.
Always in love.