love is not it

Soulmates, Gouache on paper, 2002

Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. –Elie Wiesel

First time I read this, I agreed to it in my gut. Why? Friendship has no expectations. Really.

It’s not fleeting; there’s no celebrated effort to make it work once the “honeymoon phase” is over, because there is no honeymoon phase. There’s no expectation of progress, of a journey, because although there is a journey, and it’s one that is shared between those in the friendship, this journey doesn’t exist outside– there’s no space or separation to point it out from a distance. The whole relationship of friendship is just there–not static, but not rushed to the “next stage” either. There is movement, to nowhere specific really, and so the main concern is not to achieve goals together, but just to be there, together.

A friend accepts and stays. Such a simple agreement, giving it so much room to move in, potential, potency.

Friends are the most simple relations we can have, and yet they offer the greatest pleasure possible.

Best part is that friendship is not exclusive–we’re not meant to have just one!

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Emailed to friends on August 1, 2006.