August 2010 - Montalut

walking towards the light

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Pen on paper, August 2010

Don’t be afraid to walk forward. You’re walking towards light, Jo.
– journal entry, 18 August 2010

When I start talking to myself in my journals, I pay attention.

Been in a house of healing for five days now, and through all the detox, quiet time and healing sessions, the overarching theme is still to let go.

I’ve always had a problem with leaving people behind, or put another way, I’ve always wanted to take everyone with me wherever I went. I want people I care about to be in my everydays, because that’s really where the magic happens. 🙂

And now, the recurring message is to move forward, and trust that wherever I’ll end up, they’ll still be with me.

Courage for the light.

hooray for wooden toys!

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Don’t you think it’s so hard to find a meaningful toy to give kids these days?

It’s always been a problem for me–I don’t buy into plastic toys and the PS2 generation–and come kiddie birthdays or baptisms, I always get torn between giving something I’d rather not give or just giving nothing.

Was so glad, then, to have met Tes Sobeng, a Waldorf mom who makes wooden toys for children (and children-at-heart!). She had access to wood craftsmen in Paete, Laguna and took it upon herself to make toys that resonated with love and encouraged imagination.

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Do you notice the mini palayok (clay pot) on the shelf? I have so many fond memories playing with clay pots as a child!

Tes has an assortment of toys, but mostly for kids of school age. Most adhere to the Waldorf ideals of age-appropriateness and imaginative play.
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Here’s one toy I took home for myself, inspired by a tansan (bottlecap) spinning wheel usually played in the provinces:
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Hayyyy, what joy in being a child!

* * *
You can look at Tes’s toy catalog on her website, toys and stuff, or contact her through
0908-492-3953 / 912-4056 or tesmsobeng@yahoo.com

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there are two fears — which is yours?

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Gouache on Paper, August 2010

Inertia is fuel for the lazy.

painting mom and dad (step-by-step)

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Acrylic on canvas, July 2010

Finished (for now)…still unhappy with the background… will pick this up again before giving to them for their anniversary.

This was the first acrylic work I started, but didn’t finish it right away (I still don’t think it’s done). Step-by-step process here:

Made papa smile more:

Now filled them in…

…

painting mom and dad (step-by-step)Read More »

what happens when the wanting ends?

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Gouache and pen on paper, August 2010

Yesterday I got to thinking that maybe I’ve satisfied that need to do everything I’ve always wanted to do but was never able to. The last one on the list was to be completely alone–and now, I’m at the end of my rainbow, and I don’t know what to ask for. I don’t even crave for food anymore. I don’t have intense feelings for anything.

What happens now?

where, nowhere

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Gouache and pen on paper, August 2010

What’s your lifemap? What lights your way?

Many friends are asking the big questions now… at this age…29-30-31.

I think once we figure out the why, the whats, whens, and hows will follow.

Brings to mind one of my favorite quotes, from Lewis Carroll:

Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?

The Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.

Alice: I don’t much care where.

The Cat: Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go.