Writings - Montalut

I say good morning to my God

I found painting this as my morning prayer more meaningful than mouthing words.

I’ve been struggling with prayer for a while now… The methods of old–kneeling, lifting, asking, praising–they seem so distant, and I find them short of what is enough, or what is true. More and more I’ve turned to poetry for guidance and companionship– Rilke and Rumi– and on some days, to prose–Huston Smith’s loving, gentle descriptions of the experience of God and the divine all over the world.

What is it to be in reverence? What happens when we revere? Do we revere to change inside, to pursue an inner shift, or does the inner shift move us to revere? Or maybe there comes a time, and pray we are ready when it comes, that these two movements go hand-in-hand. We move inside and outside. Questions pause, we are amazed and we amaze, and the smile in our heart moves through us, onto our toes and fingers, and we see the sun with our eyes closed.

What a good morning that would be. 🙂

dead stars

Everyday Life

Gouache on paper, March 2010

In New York I came face-to-face with my own dead stars. Dreams I found strength in, because they were distant, and pedestaled: anything is possible, yes, there’s nothing you can’t do in New York.

But once there, right in the center of those dreams, I found them hollow. I found myself just standing, neither upset nor inspired. I was just there. It was like the place of nothingness, the forest of in-between-worlds in Narnia, and I knew it wasn’t the kind of stillness that had meaning, or brought forth life. I could stay there, in a haze, and go on pursuing what I thought was my dream–the thing I’ve always wanted my whole life–but for what reason? My heart wasn’t with me there, and any effort or movement would still lead to that haze of nothingness.

I understand now what a friend’s been telling me all this time — to stop looking outside of myself for answers, and look inside. The answer is within, not without.

Do you have dead stars?

What illumines your path, what do you hold highly, maybe even reverently, that gives you hope, and the strength to do what you have to do? And how do you know if your shining star is dead or alive?

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Dead Stars is a short story by Paz Marquez Benitez. Read the full story here.

do you smile in your sleep?

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Pen on paper, April 2010

Someone told me she caught me smiling in my sleep recently, as if an angel was with me or was watching over me…

I must’ve been smiling all night last night again.

Thank you angel, thank you Uncle Joey. I woke up thankful for being here, exactly where I am. Am excited for today. 🙂

Let’s all have great days today 🙂 Spring is lovely!!!

“Oh Thou, before whom all words recoil.”

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Gouache on paper, March 2010

My uncle is very ill, and doctors cant figure out why his condition suddenly dropped.

Everyone’s preparing for the worst, and I find myself still grasping for a prayer that is both truthful and effective. But by effective i dont really know what i mean… effective for what is best maybe?

We went to the chapel here in the hospital, and it was the most pluralist place of worship I’ve been in– it’s small, probably less than 50sqm, but with a corner for Christians, Jews, and a big green tree–I’d guess Buddhism for the bodhi tree, but no trace of incense, so am not sure..There’s a smaller corner with mats–for Muslims I think.

My mom’s first impulse was to kneel, and she was crying.. I felt no urge or invitation to do the same, although I did feel a tiny envy that, wow, how nice it must be to feel that kind of comfort, or intimacy, or at the very least familiarity, with what one believes in deeply..

Two relatives have passed away this year already, and I’ve found myself still able to smile in both wakes… The bereaved need comforting, and moral support, but more and more I am finding resonance in believing that this life is just the staging ground for something bigger, and more important… Our bodies are just vessels, we move on to another vessel when this one breaks down…

What do we move towards? Whom do we move towards? Who is waiting for us at the end of this all?

have the courage to die first

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Pen on paper, April 2010

I like what Nick Perlas says about the courage to die first, before the new can emerge. Courage to face the darkness of what is dead and what needs to die within us–and with it the necessary terror and uncertainty that we all face alone:

Philippine society is dying. The Filipino soul is sinking. There is massive corruption, poverty, conflict, joblessness, sickness and hopelessness all over the land. Millions are seeking and longing for a very different Philippines, one that is alive, dynamic, progressive, peaceful, just and moral. What is the new going to be based on? Where is the power to create the new going to come from?

This is where Easter comes in. Christ overcame the sting and horror of death, forever. With His victory, we now all have the capacity to overcome what is dead in ourselves, especially our doubts, fears and hatred. Only when we overcome these death forces inside can we have to power to resurrect and create the new outside, in ourselves and in our society. We cannot continue to be the victims of the death forces of the past. We have to access the resurrection forces of the future. Only this Resurrection power can allow us to build a new politics, a new Philippines. But we have to have the courage to die first so that the new can emerge and live. This is the meaning of Easter: the occasion not only to celebrate this power of resurrection within us, but also the occasion to make it real and effective in the world.

– Nicanor Perlas, “Meaning of Easter”
03 April 2010

Happy easter, friends.

To the light at the end of the tunnel.

frivolities

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Pen on paper, April 2010

What do you do when vacations become what you need to escape from? All the noise, the chitchat, the binge eating and drinking?

Far from being sad, this could be a cause for celebration– finding vacations tiresome or in a real way, unnecessary, means that maybe you’ve found joy in your everydays! Daily flow has found its pulse, and any break in routine (a.k.a. vacation) feels more like a distraction than a retreat.

What a nice, reassuring thought. 🙂

recyclables fair for April 2010

Sustainable Living

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Convert your trash to cash or, at the very least, dispose of it responsibly.

These fairs are sponsored by Ayala. SM holds similar ones called Waste Trading Markets– please do share if you have their updated schedule.

Thanks to Jig of Gr3encycle Philippines for the heads up.

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show me the way

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Gouache & watercolor on paper, March 2010

When I was young, I always found comfort in writing letters to God.

In a recent moment of weakness, I found myself turning to the Great One yet again…

Clarity. Please. I will wait.

manilarat turns green

Sustainable Living

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I started a green blog last year as a response to the stirrings I began to feel inside– a need to declutter, to simplify, to stay still and let go of excesses, and to be practical about it. I wrote:

Early September 2009, I sat through a movie that changed my life: Home, a quiet documentary on the state of the Earth by French photographer Yann Arthus-Bertrand. Couldn’t get Glenn Close’s voice out of my head: faster and faster we humans moved from the reign of agriculture to the industrial age. Faster and faster our cities grew, with mega-buildings hailing the triumph of human intelligence and resourcefulness. Faster and faster we used up the pockets of sunlight deep inside the earth, and faster and faster our earth lost its resources–it is now dying.

My brother told me the Earth won’t really die– it will continue in whatever form it takes to survive. Whether we humans survive this new form or transition is another matter.

My big resounding story now, especially given the parallel shift inside to live, think, and act more simply, is to move towards simplifying my everyday environment. In other words, I wanna green! I wanna greenify!

That blog is now the new green section of manilarat, a catch basin for whatever information I find on going green or living greener everydays. Also hope to share it with whoever is on the same journey. Info is filtered for the Filipino, relevant most to those living in Metro Manila.

Would be glad for any tips or insights from you–please don’t be shy to send me an email or use and abuse the comment forms on every post $\":)\"$

Let’s do our part and create new habits that will manifest our greener selves!

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oh sadness! here today, gone today

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Gouache & watercolor on paper, March 2010

Was feeling down a few days before my Cambodia trip last week–I wet my brush and this was what came out.

I took out Rilke’s Book of Hours–always a source of comfort–and felt the heaviness begin to dissipate.

A few minutes after, this showed up on the page…

And then this…

What joy, to overturn sadness, when it must be overturned. 🙂

Rilke does it for me every time. I hope you also know your happy place, friends, and that you know the way there!

green and politics– what’s the latest?

Life in Nuvali PhilippinesTourism & Development, Government in Nuvali

$\"\"$ I’ve made no secret about my support for Nicanor Perlas, who is neither my relative, family friend, nor ninong.

Glad to see others are recognizing the same:

Perlas best bet to solve water woes, survey shows (Inquirer, 23 March 2010) — Environmental groups EcoWaste Coalition and Greenpeace show the results of their “Green Electoral Initiative” (GEI) survey, which ranks the presidential candidates’ green value based on their platforms on clean water. Highest mark of 8.7 points (out of 10) goes to Nick Perlas. Sen. Jamby Madrigal is second with 7.8 points, followed by Gordon with 7.2 points.

P30,000 water system solution–Perlas (Inquirer Visayas, 16 March 2010) — Nick Perlas gives a solution to water problem for farms that costs P30,000, can be set up in three days, and can irrigate three to five hectares of farms.

Other news on politics and the green agenda:

Madrigal is ‘greenest’ presidential bet (Inquirer, 22 March 2010) — another question-based ranking of the presidential candidates, conducted by Agham-Youth, Earth Island Institute, Takder, Katribu, Lakbay-Cagayan Valley, and Computer Professionals Union. Basis for the rankings: green beans cadre or how pro-people and pro-environment their answers are to questions such as the re-commissioning of the Bataan Nuclear Power Plant, commercial logging, Mining Act of 1995, coal power plant, Visiting Forces Agreement, Japan-Philippines Economic Partnership Agreement, cleanup of toxic wastes, and commercialization of genetically modified organisms.

WHY I’M SUPPORTING NICK:

Long before I knew of his decision to run for president, I’ve heard stellar things about Nick from my friend Jason Gonzales, who knows Nicky personally and who is also running for a government position in Iloilo City. Nicky, says Jason, is a renaissance man (who never sleeps because of everything he’s busy with!), brilliant at everything he does, which include farming, microfinance, meeting with global leaders and thinktanks, etc.. His website is www.nicanorperlas.com. Also visit Nick’s facebook page. Medyo mabigat, and you need to set aside time for the long texts, but well-worth the read. I’m sure you’ll find his writings engaging, or inspiring at the very least. He won an Alternative Nobel in 2003.

Last June, I met him for the first time during the Pag-asa workshop on creativity and love of country, and I decided right then and there that wow, I want him as my president, and not just that–I want to help campaign for him. I’ve always wanted to do something good for the Philippines, but Nicky and this window we’ve been given to help him have made me want to do not just good but GREAT things! He’s such a capable man– finally we have someone with real qualifications running for office!

HOW YOU CAN HELP:

Everyone on Nick’s team is a volunteer! Just volunteer! Or spread the word about this brilliant and growing pulse among Pinoys called New Politics.

Nick is also raising funds, here’s a message from Gil Alonzo, a volunteer fundraiser:

Dear All,

We are happy to inform you that we have been steadily gathering funds to match the P500T Challenge Donation that would, in total, raise P1M in campaign funds.

As a result of all our efforts, we now have P128,039.10 Just today, we added P20T by selling a rundown car to the junk shop. If you have any old car beyond repair, or any other major recyclable/saleable items that you would like to donate, please do so. Nothing is so small that we wouldn’t accept. Remember 3-year old Lareessa, who was our first donor of a 1-peso donation!

New Politics is about new approaches to getting the best candidate into power. Although we de-emphasize money in our campaign to have Nick Perlas elected, we also need minimal resources for operations, rentals, food, transportation, communication and production of campaign materials.

If we raise the P500T, we will will be able to get the other P500T challenge donation. This might be so small compared to the campaign funds of other presidential candidates, but this will go a long way for us, as this will add more mobile ads, more tarps, more flyers in recycled paper using soya ink, and another month of electric jeepney rental.

We can make this happen. Donate now!

With love and gratitude,

GIL ALONZO
Nick Perlas Volunteer Fundraiser
Meet the Challenge Within: The 500T Challenge Fund

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bamboo jeepneys in leyte

Life in Nuvali PhilippinesTourism & Development, Government in Nuvali

NOTE: This site got hacked last month and boo that my back-up didn’t include the latest 4 posts (lesson learned: back-up everyday!). I’m resurrecting this third of four posts (original publish date: January 2010) from loose emails and saved drafts.

Look at these ingenious jeepneys spotted in Leyte!

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Got these pics in the email last January 2010 from Dorothy Llariza, who said they were passed along by an acquaintance from India. At first glance, friends and I were quick to dismiss these jeepneys as “surface green”–they use bamboo and other indigenous materials, but still have the same constitution as their CO2-guzzling cousin…. or so we thought.

An online search just now led me to the site of TOTI Eco, which as it turns out is another ingenious project by a local government official (and also the source of the pics doing the email circuit)!

Feeling the need for a low-cost, fuel-efficient, safe, and environmentally-friendly alternative mode of transportation (versus the accident-prone habal-habal, a motorbike usually overloaded with passengers), Tabontabon mayor Dr. Rustico Balderian created the Tabontabon Organic Transport Industry (TOTI) Eco cars, which proudly claim to be a revolution in transportation:

Important Points to Keep in Mind About a Bamboo Car vs. Vehicles of Steel
-Our bamboo cars run 100% on coco-biodiesel.
-90% made of bamboo.
-Bamboo is indigenous & renewable.
-Bamboo is stronger in tensile strength than steel.
-It takes 5 tons of ore to make 1 ton of steel plate.
-Consider the heat needed to process 5 tons of ore.
-Made by Tabontabon’s Out-of-School Youth

ECO 1
ECO1 can seat 20 people including the driver. It can run on ONE gallon of Biodiesel fuel for 8 hours. It can climb more than 20% grade. It is covered in banig the Filipino woven mat.

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ECO 2
ECO2 is made of bamboo, seats 8 passengers, and has a stereo with sound system. It also runs on one gallon of biodiesel fuel for 8 hours.

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Future Models
Other models in production include another vehicle made of bamboo…including the chassis.

Estimated cost of Eco1 amounts to P200,000. Not sure how this compares to the steel Sarao…

Other projects by Mayor Balderian include the production of shredders, boilers and bio-reactors for solid waste management (package cost is at P650,000) and livelihood projects that reuse plastic waste into slippers, bags and bricks.

More pictures can be seen on the TOTI Eco website.