Red Day

We moved to İstanbul yesterday, and as @korayerimez says, started the next leg of our life adventure 🥂🌟

I’ve been here twice before and remember two striking things about its geography: lots of water, and lots of hills (the walled city is built on 7 hills).🏞

Istanbul has been the capital of empires, religions and trade for over 2,700 years.🕌 💒 Filipina me with our short-term cultural memory can’t process that deep history just yet, and I’m really excited to feel it through everyday life here. Our stay this time is for a little over a month leading up to @leadiafestivals in October, after which we move on to the next land we shall explore as a family. 🧭

Life on the road is also still a landscape I’m getting to know, especially in my 40s with a family of my own. Wanderer me 20 years ago would’ve embraced this life without second thought–and the same goes for Koray who has lived in 10 countries. There’s something in us that seeks the road: the unknown is exciting and full of opportunities. With a 5yo though, life needs a rhythm, and we build it first and foremost by building a home. And so I’m framing it as such: our adventure now, our family’s lay of the land, is homebuilding. 🏡

❤️ On Red Day, look at the land where you are: What’s unique to it? What are its gifts (and burdens)? Then look at your own inner landscape: what are your own hills and waters?

I book my personal catch up calls on Zoom now. There’s something about putting a conversation on my calendar that makes it happen: it’s important, it’s not just chitchat, and it deserves its own timeslot.📲

Old me would frown upon this and say it kills spontaneity to schedule heartfelt conversations. Unguarded moments cannot be planned.

And yet the alternative has not been effective either. I didn’t realize how withered my friendships were, some going as far back as a year since our last catch up. ☎️

❤️ On Red Day, go through your friend lists and qualify each relationship: is it flourishing, healthy, status quo, wilting, maybe even dying? Who gets to be on your calendar?📅

Can you find beauty in the ugly, joy in the pain, fun in the same old things?🌟

Red Days are vision days. And our vision–what we see–depends on many things: our viewpoint (are we high or low?), our pathway (is there anything blocking our view?), and our lens (are our eyes working 100%?). Sometimes to see life with rose-colored lenses is frowned upon and we’re asked to wake up–but I say, why not see life in color? Why not have fun lenses everyday?🥸

🇹🇷 We love this rooftop bar in Istanbul, where we got to see this beautiful city from up high. It was a moment of joy, beauty and fun.

❤️ On Red Day, put on some fun lenses and seek out the joy and pulsating energy that makes you get up from bed with a smile.😊

It was a random day in the kitchen, and our daughter borrowed the phone to take pictures.📸 Her growing photo collection shows what she holds dear: her toys, body, face, the floor, Babam, and a lot of Mommy. Now that she’s five, I’m cherishing this overflowing attention and attachment, knowing fully well that it’s not going to last. I’m careful not to encourage nor discourage it, just let it be, and receive it with thanks. 🙏

To be around a child everyday, so curious and daring about the world–it’s really a gift. It’s an act of seeing with energy and innocence, and I thank God all the time for this wonderful little person who calls me Mom.👩‍👧

❤️ On Red Day, take some time to look at how the people who love and cherish you, truly see you. Do you see yourself in the same way? 👀😍

There’s a Macedonian lady who cuts my hair here in Turkey.✂️ Koray’s family has been going to her for over 40 years, and I now swear by her magic hands too.

❤️ On Red Day, go look at yourself in the mirror. Are you smiling? Do you like what you see? 🪞

No coincidence that I’m re-writing this for the third time after losing two drafts– truly as an exercise in holding the vision.

Here’s @korayerimez and I in the 2,000 year-old ampitheater in the Ancient City of Ephesus.🏛 It’s a site to behold, 30 meters tall (that’s 10-storeys high) and with a 24,000 seating capacity (that’s as big as half a football stadium). It’s a massive testament to human innovation, built to face the Harbour Road,🛣 which was the main entryway to Ephesus, the first metropolis of Asia. Back then it was a magnificent port city before the water 💧 receded and earthquakes happened. Imagine how visionary it was to even visualize a place like this at a time without cars or modern equipment. They say it took 60 years to carve it out of the mountain, and since then it has staged many shows and gatherings, from St. Paul’s preachings to gladiator fights, sacrificial feasts, and modern day operas and concerts.

It would’ve taken intense manifesting and future visioning to build this, and to stand there offering our own vision for @leadiagrowth was a goosebump moment. Thanks @baliliudaagnes for the picture 📸 and the caption–it really was a moment for holding the vision.

❤️ On Red Day, we remember earthquakes and modern disruptions (like pressing the wrong button on your phone 📱😅) and say, “Stay there. I have built, and will keep building. I stay the course and hold the vision.

Here’s a painting I did 7 years ago. I was at my fitness peak and felt I finally made peace with my body.🤝 It turned into a whole series called “I Love My Body”.💃

This vision took a backseat when I became a mom, and my relationship with my body changed.🤱 It got…messy and contradictory. There was “Wow, my body birthed and nurtured a whole new human being, amazing!” Vs. “I don’t like how I look, I don’t own my body anymore.”🪞 I lost interest in taking care of my body, eating well, sleeping well, even dressing well–because, hey, the baby came first.

In 2022 I launched the series as NFTs, and relaunched them again in 2023, I guess as an attempt to again make peace with my body.🧘‍♀️ There were small wins thanks to IF and Zumba classes, but they were fragile and short-lived. The unpredictability of a nomadic lifestyle also made sticking to a routine extra challenging.⏰️

Loving my body is a fragile vision that is still very blurry for me at this point, and maybe the way forward is not to revive the old, foggy lenses.👓 Maybe I need something more drastic, like vision surgery. Or as my therapist says, start with a lot of self-love and self-compassion. 💅🤲

❤️ On Red Day, here’s a full stop to check how far do you actually see? Does your vision go beyond what’s already visible? Can you see what’s not there yet? And can you keep seeing it into the future? What helps you see?