In light of what is happening around the world these days — wars, disasters, privacy breaches, dying economies, corrupted morals, misplaced values in business and education — I sometimes wonder if my self-indulgent essays are worth anything. To me they are a necessary purging, and I can sleep at night thinking all this is necessary so I can be a better person to others in the long run. But of what value are they to others right now? This is the relevance question all over again, and it’s the same with my art (or this process of learning art). Every time I spend 12 hours making tedious, careful lines for my school plate or slave over getting a smooth baseboard for my canvas, I wonder if it’s making a difference, really.

It may be vain to think that my life is worth a stranger’s time and attention, but modesty aside, it’s also a lie to think otherwise.

Someone once told me that I should just paint and write what is true for me when it is true, because there will be people out there who will be able to relate to it. And for this alone — even if the resonance is just with one person — I should keep doing what I do. There is value in doing things truthfully.

I go back to one of the few insights I retained from college philosophy: Paul Ricouer’s “personal”. He said that by doing what we do — our job — with love and gusto, we already engage the other — the stranger. What is objective, non-specific and non-directed, becomes personal and intimate.

And so we march on.

I’ve been waking up everyday at 2am, to the glare of white lights unintentionally left on — meaning I fell asleep midway through work– and not being able to sleep again until the morning sun begins to peep in.

I’m leaving for an “epic trip” in a week, and I’ve been anxious about it for a while now.  Add to that the demands of a new business, and you have a half-performing zombie who is finding it more difficult, day by day, to be coherent.  Sometimes I’m too tired to even eat.

Reminds me of first semester in UP last year, with 3-hour sleeps just to keep up with school work.

I guess I haven’t learned to manage my energies properly:  I’m still operating on intense bouts of uptime, to be followed by extremely non-intense downtime.

This is looking to be a June habit of mine.  Must.Change.Gears. ASAP.

I’m just thankful that time doesn’t stop — it’s that immovable movement that bulldozes its way everyday through everything and nothing, with zero bias.  Even without expending any more effort, I will get to the end of the tunnel.

I’ve been wearing a new hat for the past month and a half, and one that has always been close to my heart: that of a teacher.

My family now runs a preschool, with me at the helm.  We’ve been elated at the wide possibilities ahead and also overwhelmed by the new responsibilities that come with them.

I’ve taught on a number of occasions before, and those close to me know that I am a frustrated Waldorf mom (only because I have yet to be a mom!).  This new development on my personal path is resonating quite loudly.  I feel the volume of work ahead, but it is strangely comforting in its demands.  Is this what it means to be on my Christ year at age 33?

One of the main tasks I gave myself the past two weeks was to clear the space (physical, psychic, intellectual) for the school and lay down my mark in some tangible way, much like how I’ve blessed and dedicated other places sacred to me: my first home and my working studio.

I took out my brushes for the first time since art school ended in March, and went for the blank walls in the preschool lobby and bathrooms.

I wrote on May 25:

Been working on murals for a preschool for the past 3 days. Apart from my aching feet and arms (12 hours of standing, bending and reaching up each day!), my struggle is the same: I take too long to decide on what to paint. It doesn’t help that I haven’t drawn/painted since summer break 2 months ago — but wow what a project to reignite the creative rhythm. I think a mural is much like an installation piece — the canvas or ground for the work is a physical space, and there are so many visual elements with which the mural interacts within this space. There are existing murals at the school, and I needed to think of pieces that would be synergistic.

#mural #preschool #children #creativeplanning

It was difficult to compose a painting around a very prominent and immovable fence. I went over 30 children’s books for inspiration and decided to go with animals. The school uses a giraffe in its logo so I thought it would be nice to give it more visual presence in the welcome area/playground.

#giraffe #mural #school

Mural#2 on the adjacent wall: inspired by Leo Lionni’s mice. I finished the giraffe wall in a day so I got ambitious with this next one. There were many lessons learned yesterday.

Lesson#1: Murals need to be planned! No room for intuitive painting here, if only to save paint and effort. I got carried away in the morning and slathered yellow paint on the background, which actually took longer than expected [to cover]. The mice were the first elements I drew in, and the rooster I added later. Bad idea. The image got too crowded and I felt stuck.

Lesson#2: Don’t eat up negative space. I relented and decided the only way forward was to “erase” the rooster and sun. Doing a reset on a big wall is no joke.

Still needs finishing touches…maybe mountains or a house for perspective. My brother suggested a hot air balloon on the right corner. What do you think? 🙂

Mural#3: Fishes in the bathroom. I just found them cute. Inspired by Eric Carle’s Rooster’s Off to See the World.

#mural #preschool #bathroom #fish

My favorite so far: Mural#4 on the kinder bathroom walls, showing scenes from Leo Lionni’s An Extraordinary Egg. I loved this book when I first read it and really wanted to use elements from it. Since the bathroom had 4 walls I could actually paint a mural narrative. Took me 6 hours to finish– I wanted to get the character design right. I hope the kids enjoy their bathroom visits more from now on! As for me, it’s time to rest. :p Good night everyone!

#mural #preschool #children#bathroom #frog #alligator #leolionni

* * *

There are many aspects to learn in educating young children, but I put a premium on approaching it with the same loving intensity I give to art-making. I’ve been talking about process in my art for a good while, and how it is just as important as outcome or result, and I hope to sustain this mindfulness in delivering both, in equal measure, to our school’s kids, their parents and families, our teachers and staff. I’ve been asking for a community — here is a thriving, immediate and open one that has already started wrapping me around its fingers.

Is this an uh-oh for my art? We shall see.  The optimist in me says I can wear both hats simultaneously.  And that simultaneously nurturing an educator’s heart will inform and strengthen my art.

A good friend once told me never to back down from work because I feel scared to leave it when the call comes to move on.  Someone will pick up the work.  Always.

Is it too early in the game to be talking about moving on?  I think it’s more truthful to work under no assumption of forever — everything flows, whether good or bad.  It takes courage (and humility) to commit to new things this way: wholly present, todo bigay, now na.

If any of you wish to collaborate on early childhood education (anything from teaching and parenting, children’s health and fitness, to toys, field trips and outreach, etc.), let me know! One of the possibilities I intend to explore is to engage people in conversation about education today (emphasis on today — relevance, context, responsiveness, effectiveness).

🙂

Today was my second visit to the Gawad Kalinga Enchanted Farm in Angat, Bulacan — a hub for social enterprise and community-building inspired and fueled by the indomitable spirit of Gawad Kalinga.

I have much to process from this afternoon, but for now, before it disappears, I want to commit to words my heart’s jump for joy at finding out about The Enchanted Farm Village University.

The first of its kind in the world, this is a university meant to harness our collective knowledge in agriculture and entrepreneurship. It currently has 80 scholars from neighboring barangays who will undergo 2 years of university-level training: mornings for academics, afternoons for entrepreneurship, and the rest for field work. By the end of the 2-year program, these 80 students will have started their own farm-based social enterprises. And the best part? They’re already starting this August 2014!

I met Tito Tony Meloto today. He’s the man with the vision for GK. He’s a jolly fellow with a very hearty laugh. I think most successful, big-hearted people have big, hearty laughs.

He spoke of his staunch belief in hybrids — getting the best of both (sometimes more than two) worlds.  This is the way forward to thrive globally: holistic, inclusive growth that is not afraid to learn entirely new ways of doing, seeing, living.

He said this farm university (they plan to eventually develop a full four-year course) will catapult the Filipino into the global scene because it will develop and train us in our core competencies. We are an agricultural nation with so much land. It’s about time we claimed our place in the world as such. The battle of the future will be for food, and here we are poised for abundant food production.

The GK Farm, on its own, is attracting people from all over the Philippines and the world. These are groups and individuals, rich and poor, who are working side-by-side, talking heart-to-heart about making real effective changes that can be replicated and scaled up.

This university is wildly exciting because it will begin the domino exponential growth that only comes from TRAINING people.

And I am personally invested in this because it’s been my dream to build such a place: I’ve talked about the Montalut Art and Innovation School countless times.

So many exciting things happening these days! What a time to be alive!  Stay tuned, I feel there are great things ahead and at hand.

Thanks for the encounter today. Truly was a gift.

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Pictures from my first visit to the GK Enchanted farm in January 2012.

The  Gawad Kalinga Enchanted Farm facebook page