“i can feel the possibilities”, Gouache on paper, 2004

Back from hackedland, finally alive again, so happy, and on the eve of my first backpacking adventure in Asia !

What a way to start a trip such as this… the bad vibes are gone and already started a few paintings in my new travel journal. Oh yey I get to travel light, and bring happy thoughts with me.  Was deliberating whether to bring Rilke’s Book of Hours, but decided to stick to one book (travel light indeed)– so will have Huston Smith and World Religions for company at the Angkor Wat!

Back to regular blogging when I get back! XO

Watercolor and poster paint on paper, 2009

May what I do flow from me like a river,
no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children…

– Rilke, Book of Hours I, 12

Gouache and poster paint on paper, 2009

Be earth now, and evensong.
Be the ground lying under that sky.
Be modest now, like a thing
ripened until it is real,
so that he who began it all
can feel you when he reaches for you.

– Rilke, Book of Hours II, 1

Oil on canvas, 2000
When I turned 29 a month ago, my friend Ces welcomed me to my sun years. She said that the turbulent, excruciating period of years 27 and 28 are over (oh thank you!);  it’s now time to shine and come into my own. 🙂

Such a lovely way to greet a new year!

Ten years ago, I started painting to give my mind a rest from overthinking. What came out of me was the sun, and it just kept pouring out in all colors and forms–smiling, laughing, observing, being cheeky.

Oil on canvas, 2000

Oil on canvas, 2001

Gouache on paper, 2002

Gouache on paper, 2002

Gouache on paper, 2002

Gouache on paper, 2005

Gouache on paper, 2006

Gouache on paper, 2006

Gouache on paper, 2006

Gouache on paper, 2006

Gouache on paper, 2007

It’s now 2010 (and a new decade at that!), and the sun is still the most natural motif in my work.

I feel a strange loyalty to it, a sense of obligation to nurture the bond, this impulse from nowhere..

…and yet there is that new sensation too, that of letting go…

Maybe the sun that’s been trying to come out all these years has truly emerged.

What comes next? 🙂

Let go, Gouache on paper, 2005

Time is a created thing. To say ‘I don’t have time’ is to say ‘I don’t want to.’ –Lao Tzu

What do you usually say you’re too busy for?

Let’s not be too busy to pray. To cook. To read! To exercise! To meet up and have face-to-face qt (quality time ) with friends and family.  Let’s make time.  Especially this season of LOVE. 🙂

Merry Christmas, friends!

Soulmates, Gouache on paper, 2002

Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. –Elie Wiesel

First time I read this, I agreed to it in my gut. Why? Friendship has no expectations. Really.

It’s not fleeting; there’s no celebrated effort to make it work once the “honeymoon phase” is over, because there is no honeymoon phase. There’s no expectation of progress, of a journey, because although there is a journey, and it’s one that is shared between those in the friendship, this journey doesn’t exist outside– there’s no space or separation to point it out from a distance. The whole relationship of friendship is just there–not static, but not rushed to the “next stage” either. There is movement, to nowhere specific really, and so the main concern is not to achieve goals together, but just to be there, together.

A friend accepts and stays. Such a simple agreement, giving it so much room to move in, potential, potency.

Friends are the most simple relations we can have, and yet they offer the greatest pleasure possible.

Best part is that friendship is not exclusive–we’re not meant to have just one!

* * *
Emailed to friends on August 1, 2006.

Gouache on paper, unfinished

The heart has the ability to experience so much—and we don’t have much time. — Jack Gilbert

My friend Jason shared this powerful chant with me–it’s something that his spiritual community in Iloilo uses when praying over each other.

Two concepts you wouldn’t normally clump together: violent fire and purity. A great upsurge of energy, a disturbance, a violence that is heated, burning, passionate, but also pure, sincere, precise, like a laserbeam. This violent fire is dedicated, committed, and will not falter. And it comes from a tough, loving place–a place of truth.

What a great source of strength, to be able to tap into Truth. Fierce and potent. Unforgiving truth, that makes brave men and women out of all of us. You know you’re dealing with Truth when you’re disturbed, rocked out of your boat. It’s that surgical incision that hurts, but brings healing and resolve (and often, duty) all at once.

Try saying it out loud: “I am a violent fire. I am the purity that God desires.”

What happens?

In a dryspell moment last July, I came up with my 30 before 30 list (encouraged by my friend, Tina).  She said it will help me say yes to things that matter, and no to those that matter less.

Starting today, I have exactly one year to check off items on this list.

Oh the great adventures begin!