Johanna

go out into your heart

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the immense loneliness begins
Gouache and watercolor on paper, 2009

“You are not surprised at the force of the storm–
You have seen it growing

Now you must go out into your heart
as onto a vast plain. Now
the immense loneliness begins

The days go numb, the wind
sucks the world from your senses like withered leaves.

Through the empty branches the sky remains.
It is what you have…”

– Rilke’s Book of Hours II,1

begin!

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IMG_3440
Gouache on paper, 2006

“Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.” — Seneca

I love this! What a way to start a Saturday morning!
The words Seneca used:

BEGIN
Such potency, such motivation in that word. BEGIN, my friends! let’s! 🙂

AT ONCE
The time is now, focus on now. What are you waiting for, really?

TO LIVE
Just like a chair chairs, a person persons. We live, and so we be who we’re meant to be — we ripen and blossom and bear fruit…

and do the same thing over again EACH DAY. Separate day = separate life.

Wonderful! Tara let’s, bagets, forget all your troubles, forget all your cares… and go Downtown
(things will be great when you’re
Downtown — you’ll find a place for sure
Downtown — everything’s waiting for you)!

HAHA, happy day, friendlies XOXO

*     *     *

Sent as email to friends on September 15,  2007.

on waiting

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sept27_01
Gouache on paper, 2002

My waterloo has always been patience.. I’ve always found it hard to believe in the “calculated jump” in actualizing a dream: what people call baby steps or weighing out options.. I find taking one’s time to be a great deterrent; it paralyzes. For me, when you jump, you jump. All out. Bahala na si batman.   And so far, this structureless, armalite approach has worked for me..

Last year, though, I learned something about patience..and restraint…and all their wonderful, painful offspring. A difficult lesson (we stubborn girls don’t learn otherwise), but maybe impactful in a way I am only beginning to understand..

What does it mean to wait? Cris told me years ago that women, by nature, wait. It’s what we do.  I refused the idea then, because waiting seemed so passive, reactionary, weak.  And what could be more truthful than acting on gut?

But there is a steady power to it… to waiting without going insane… to letting things unfold, to not thinking too much, to welcoming the silence and (seeming) inaction that come with the wait.

To let each impression and each embryo of a feeling come to completion, entirely in itself, in the dark, in the unsayable, the unconscious, beyond the reach of one’s own understanding, and with deep humility and patience to wait for the hour when a new clarity is born: this alone is what it means to live as an artist: in understanding as in creating.”                                    – Rilke, in Letters to a Young Poet

we belong to people

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dream11
Gouache on paper, 2003

The occasional gathering…no matter how brief, keeps the heart and mind in touch with the most fundamental of joys: belonging.   – Adrian Butash

Nothing beats face-to-face encounters.

If I were to add up the number of hours I spend on emails, Facebook, Multiply, and Friendster everyday versus time spent on quality meet-ups with real people, ayayay, shame shame on me… admittedly I’ve relied on the net to stay in touch with friends because it’s convenient — it requires less of my time and lets me do other things…

Multitasking is so natural now, it doesn’t make sense to do things the long way… but really, time is all we have to give. We don’t choose our friends out of convenience, and a quick review of the qualities of a great friend would definitely have reliability/availability at the top of the list.

For the things we love, we make time, we clear our schedule, we plan. Why not for the people we love? I think the happiest people are also those who can say no to things that matter only slightly and yes to those that warm the heart every single time.

Christmas is less than a month away, friends! Time again to gather and be joyful, hope to share real hugs with you soon! XOXO

*     *     *

First emailed this to friends on November 28, 2007.  Synchronicity at work to chance upon it the same time of the year two years later?  Must listen to these gentle reminders…and listen well… 🙂

No Impact Week: one month after

Sustainable Living

It’s been over a month since I joined the Huffington Post’s No Impact Week project, a group experiment on carbon-cleansing for one whole week.  Participation from all over the world was very encouraging to say the least! A girl named Rachel from Holland, for example, shared a cool new transportation option for the green mommy:

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Holland's new pride, the modern bakfiets! (image source)

Other interesting ideas shared:  a sharing cooperative among neighbors for common household tools, natural alternatives to shampoo, geocaching (treasure hunting using GPS).

Visit the post-experiment insights page and the No Impact Project Ning site for worldwide participants (those outside Canada and the US) to take a look for yourself or join in the discussion \":)\"

A new batch of carbon cleanse participants started on November 15.  Click here to check if you can still participate (better late than never!).

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how do you say goodbye to a good thing?

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"Keep it Tight" Keep it tight, Oil on canvas, 2009

I’m in love with a girl who’s in love with the world / and I can’t help but follow / though I know someday she is bound to go away / and stay over the rainbow / gotta learn how to let her go / over the rainbow                   – Amos Lee

Always thought someone would sing this about me someday.  Not the other way around.

How do you let go of love? 🙁 How do you say goodbye to a good thing?

on death and iloveyous

Everyday Life

twirl
Twirl, Gouache on paper, 2005

Sharing something I wrote in November 2008 after a funeral mass for my friend’s brother:

it happens every time someone i know dies– i get this compulsion to tell everyone i love them, to right every wrong, even those wrongs that are still pending

there’s that urgency, a jolly sort of rushing, not because there’s no time, but because the best time is now

it’s a reminder, almost a command, NOT TO WAIT
for anything– for a better time, for safer circumstances, for someone to say sorry first, for time to heal wounds
to just seize and be happy now
to resolve whatever conflicts are in my heart now, whether small or big
and just be happy
live in peace

and all the more this death, miguel’s
he’s a spirit warrior
he purposefully looked for God, for oneness, for joy
his favorite quote: “The Heart has a thousand strings, and can only be tuned by Love.”
by Hafiz, a Sufi poet
his friends called him the angelman, and he shared and promoted love through his music
he played the sitar
all the family members gave eulogies
and they all said he was deeply spiritual
moved on from the mundane world to a very connected spiritual plane
and at 24, thats deeply inspiring
so
it’s pushing me to move beyond the trivial in my life now–my sulking moods, brooding on how stuck i am (or think i am), even my latest obsessions which help me get by but are, in all honesty, distractions (twilight,
true blood, sookie stackhouse novels)..

just now i also got an email from a friend of a friend
contacts for lodging options in baguio
for next year, when teaching duties end
it’s my first step towards answering my deepest questions again
and im thankful for these pushes i get
nudges to put me on the right path (again)

let’s all pray for peace in our hearts
now
and every moment

Please say a prayer too for Miguel Dizon and his family, including my friend, Kitch.

Escape to this Tagaytay mountain vacation house

Slow Travel

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With quiet views of the Tagaytay hillside, this charming four-bedroom home can well be your private enclave in one of the most visited cities in the Philippines.

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This home was built on sloping terrain, and overlooks a lovely terraced flower garden that faces the Tagaytay mountainside.   The house is spacious and refreshing, with four large rooms, a den/entertainment room, 5 toilet and baths, maid’s room, a wide roof deck and a charming garden that’s now in bloom! A few mature trees bear guyabano and avocado fruits when in season. The area is windy and refreshing, making it an ideal sanctuary away from the noise and heavy air of the city.

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Location is the ridge area before the rotonda, making it accessible and away from the congestion along the restaurant row of Tagaytay. Nearby landmarks are Iglesia ni Kristo church and Aroma Apartelle.

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The two adjoining lots are also available for sale, making room for a bigger garden or pool.

Please contact Mr. Jose Pilar at +63920-9624873 or our office +632 6337601 for price information or to schedule an appointment.

Also for sale in the same area are the following residential lots:
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Come visit the house and experience for yourself the beautiful Tagaytay mountains that you could be waking up to every morning!

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Click here for more information about this lovely Tagaytay home for sale.

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on being grateful

Everyday Life

sun chalk
Chalk and pastel on sandpaper

“When you are grateful–when you can see what you have–you unlock blessings to flow in your life.” –  Suze Orman

Interesting to see being thankful as being present.. 🙂

What moves us to say those words out loud? THANK YOU. Thank you mom, thank you dad, thank you lover, thank you sister, thank you friend. These words are never said with a heavy heart. Neither are they received with anything but a warm smile. Have you ever scoffed at someone who offered you a sincere word of thanks.

Many motivational materials advise us to start (and end) our day with a “thank you”. Gives an instant uplift to mood, spirit, and yes, even the body. “Thank you” is so immediate, it’s a natural response to receiving…also to giving.

Turn it around and take “being present” to mean “thank you”– when you’re living in the now, fully aware and recognizing what’s already before you, you are actually being thankful.

What a nice thought. 🙂

ready to try a no-impact week?

Sustainable Living

Chanced upon the No Impact Week challenge on Huffington Post a few days ago. The idea is to live for a week with zero or reduced impact on the environment, based on the year-long experiment by Colin Beavan, known as No Impact Man:

HuffPost Green and HuffPost’s Eyes & Ears Citizen Journalism Initiative are thrilled to announce that we are partnering with the No Impact Project, a non-profit started by Colin Beavan, to bring our readers the first No Impact Week. This week will give people the opportunity to examine and reduce their ecological footprint by taking part in a short and intense period of conscious consumption supported by local and online communities.


As we learned more about Colin, and saw No Impact Man, the documentary film and read his book of the same title, about his family’s year-long experiment, we were downright inspired. The documentary follows the Beavans’ journey as they incrementally lowered their impact through phases, such as making no trash, only eating food grown within 250 miles, using no carbon producing transportation (not even the subway!) and finally, no electricity in their home. By year’s end their impact was down to nearly zero.

Primary takers so far are Americans and Europeans, but I really want to give myself an honest shot at it.

The global project starts this Monday, October 18.  Are you ready to try this for yourself? Take a look here or download the No Impact Week Guide here and let me know, so at least I’ll have a friend to dial when I’m ready to scream and pull out my hair from the birthing pains of this first step towards going green!

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Today, October 15, is Blog Action Day, and the theme for this year is Climate change. Visit www.blogactionday.org to see the green ruckus from all over the blogosphere today.

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Alternative to relief goods in plastic: binalot!

Sustainable Living

Plastic clogged the drains, relief goods in plastic will clog the drains even more.  The Acacia Waldorf school in Sta.Rosa, Laguna shows us an alternative: packing relief goods (food/meals in particular) using good old banana leaves…

Photo from Dale Diaz shows 500 meals of rice, tuyo and hardboiled egg in “green” packaging.

Other alternatives (taken from calls of help from We Philippines as reposted on facebook):  used (but still usable!) blankets, bedsheets, pillow cases, towels, curtains and tablecloths to pack goods with.

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Lifesaver bottle: using nanotechnology to make filthy water potable

Sustainable Living

First heard about this revolutionary invention that lets people drink filthy floodwater from my dad.  Was super excited to read about an initiative by The Clean Water Project to bring the Lifesaver bottle to the Philippines:

The Clean Water Project aims to transform the deadly floodwaters of Typhoon Ondoy (international name Ketsana) into life giving, pure drinking water.  It is a collaboration among old friends who are committed to doing whatever we can do, and work for as long as there is work to be done.

Inventor Michael Pritchard explains how this works:

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LIFESAVER bottle removes all micro-biological contamination from water.

LIFESAVER bottle has been thoroughly tested by London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine showing that even the smallest of viruses were removed. Download the LSHTM laboratory test results HERE.

The smallest bacteria measures 200NM (nanometres) whilst the smallest virus measures about 25 nanometres. The ultra filtration membranes in the LIFESAVER Ultra-Filtration cartridge have pore sizes of only 15 nanometres, this means that no contamination can pass through into the drinking water.
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The pump creates pressure within the bottle which forces water through the membranes leaving the dirt and contamination on the other side of the membranes.

Here’s a 10-minute video with Michael Pritchard from TED.com (filmed during the most recent TED Global last July 2009):

Shorter demo video from the BBC here:

More info on the Lifesaver website, where donations for Typhoon Ondoy (Ketsana) victims are also accepted.

Behind The Clean Water Project are two Pinays: Tish Vallés, a strategic planner, advocate and social entrepreneur based in New York, and Denise Celdran, an artist, environmentalist and advocate.  They say that the British manufacturer has “kindly offered a 35% discount on the bottles for relief efforts. For the $100.00 each Lifesaver bottle costs, we will help provide from 4,000 – 6,000 liters of safe drinking water. That is from $0.016 – $0.25 per liter!”

Although help is welcome from all aspects,

We are also very collaborative, and welcome like-minded action-oriented groups and individuals to participate in this project. Please email  tish@strategicstiletto.com to start a discussion.

the urgent need is funding, which can be done through paypal, cash or cheque donations. Visit the donation page or email cleanwaterfund@gmail.com for arrangements.

Found through Panjee Tapales (thanks!), who says that the Lifesaver jerrycans, which can “process up to 20,000 litres of clean sterile drinking water without the aid of chemicals,” are also coming in December!

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Let’s spread the word and help getting this initiative going!

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